You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
