What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
