is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
