Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
