We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I can't turn off my feet"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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