Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
