I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
