Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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