She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Randomize
