Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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