when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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