Do you still have your period?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
