There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my being single is dangerous.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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