i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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