Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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