I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
