i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
should my penis look like a turkey
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
