Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
