3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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