I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
