Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
