Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
