he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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