I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
