that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
