What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
