Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
