You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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