If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
