zippers are such a cool invention
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
All the doctor said was why
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
