Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
now i know why i became what i already was.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
