Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
