how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
