So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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