I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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