Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
