I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Randomize
