do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
