If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
