Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
