I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
