if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
