help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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