Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
