Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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