Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
