I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
