so that wasnt chicken after all
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
