I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
