wakey wakey hands off snakey
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
