Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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