why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
