Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We have started to decorate penises.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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