Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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