The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
