you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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