Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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