I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
