I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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