Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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