My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
