I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
