dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
