i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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