i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
