Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
