How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
