the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
