I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
