i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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