why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
