I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
