Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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