please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize