So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I FOUND THE LEGS
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
